idontneedluck | AU Kid!Ibani

Chirrut doesn't often ask things of the Force, but as the fall edges its way into winter, he has been asking for one thing daily. He prays that this year, the winds don't come. Life with Ibani has settled down into a comfortable routine, and he doesn't want that broken up. He doesn't want her to see him hanging on to his temper with his teeth, doesn't want her to see the spectacle of him needing to be beaten down like a feral creature.

He's afraid of what would happen then.

The Force does not grant him his wish.

One morning he awakes with his skin already crawling, the thin high whistle of the oncoming winter wind already ripping at his peace. He works hard to ignore it - harder than he ever has in his life, even more than the year after the disastrous match with Baze and Eiko.

He makes it through breakfast before he starts to feel his temper fraying. He wants to beg Baze to take Ibani away, somewhere far away, but it's getting to be too cold to go out of the city on frivolous pursuits. It will only lead to a fight.

Chirrut knows despair then. He's not getting past this day without being bloodied.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

iprotectyou

Baze's eyes widen at the writing in the sand garden. He resolutely does not believe in ghosts. Force ghosts, sure, he's heard of them, but he didn't think they could affect the physical world around them.

He picks up the garden to cart it over to Chirrut, but then he's getting up and screaming. Baze drops the sand garden back onto the counter and rushes to his friend--feeling that strange tingling feeling again as he runs. He pays it no mind.

"Chirrut! What's wrong? You shouldn't be up!" Baze shouts, pressing down on Chirrut's shoulders to try to force him back into bed. Janeth, the medical technician, comes running over with a syringe.

From:

last_kallig

Chirrut's pain tears at Ibani, rips her heart open. She'd rather an eternity in an an active shock collar than ever hearing or feeling Chirrut like this again. There is no penance sufficiently horrible to atone for the pain she's accidentally inflicted.

This time, this time the Force answers her desperate prayer and her voice is audible to everyone in the room. "DAD! DAD, I'M NOT DEAD! PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!"

"I didn't....I just, they wouldn't let me in to see you, and I was so worried so I found a loophole, but I hurt you..." Her voice dissolves into hysterical sobbing.

Edited Date: 2017-06-22 02:52 am (UTC)

From:

idontneedluck

Between Baze and Janeth they knock him back to the bed, and Janeth is quick to take the opportunity to give Chirrut a hefty cocktail of sedatives and tranquilizers. Thankfully she gets it in before Ibani speaks, because she promptly drops the syringe in surprise at that party trick.

Chirrut, pinned and half surrendered to the medications crawling through his veins, doesn't understand. He doesn't, but he can hear Ibani, his little girl, and she says she's alright.

She says she's alright, and that's enough for him to stop fighting and slump against the bed.

From:

iprotectyou

With Chirrut indisposed and Ibani in such distress, Baze is panicked. "Watch him," he snarls to Janeth, and tears down the hall to confront--and console--his little girl. He has no idea what he'll find, and prepares himself for the worst.

From:

last_kallig

Ibani lets go of the power holding her away from her body, snapping back into it like a rubber band pulled taunt, then let loose.

It's agony, but it's still less than what she feels she deserves. By the time Baze reaches her she's upright in her pajamas and slippers.

When she sees him, she does the only thing she can do. She submits, going slowly to her knees, then face down onto the floor.

She's still sobbing, because she feels terrible and she hurt both her dads, and there's nothing she can do to make up for all this pain.

Edited Date: 2017-06-22 03:43 am (UTC)

From:

iprotectyou

When he sees that she's okay, Baze is--for a moment--filled with anger. Her prostrating helps him brutally stuff his rage, shove it into a corner where he'll deal with it later. He's still very displeased, and, in a way, betrayed, because she has deliberately disobeyed him for the first time. He draws a cleansing breath, and gathers her into his arms, settling his bulk on the bed with her.

"Ibani," he says, calm and measured, "what did you do?"

From:

last_kallig

Ibani feels his anger, braces for...something that doesn't come. She's surprised when he gathers her into his arms.

She swallows hard. "I left my body," she explains. "I left enough of me here to keep my body alive, but took the rest of me to the infirmary." And Force is she regretting that more than she thought possible!

"I'd done it once before, on accident, when I was little. I wanted Ma'Vena and I was too weak to stand and, and I was suddenly next to her."

From:

iprotectyou

Well. That's not horrifying at all.

Baze bites back a gasp, and tries to reign in his terror. If she had messed up the connection, if she hadn't returned to her body... He can't even think on the consequences. He squeezes her against his chest, where she can feel his heart beating a staccato rhythm.

"That," he says, just as calmly as before, "was dangerous. You could have hurt yourself. And you knew what I meant when I told you not to set foot in the infirmary."

Knew what he meant, and exploited his words. He'd almost be proud of her for finding a loophole if he weren't so upset.

"Your dad didn't want you to see him like that. Why did you do such a thing?"

From:

last_kallig

"Yes," Ibani admits, shrinking in on herself.

"I didn't know he didn't want me to see him like that. I just, I wanted to know he was okay. I was so scared, and, and I knew he was hurting and I wanted to make him feel better. I feel better when he sits with me when I'm sick."

Ibani breaks down sobbing again.

From:

iprotectyou

"Ssh," Baze soothes, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "You're all right. Everything will be all right."

He wraps his arms around her and rocks, humming a tuneless song. "Your dad is different than you. He doesn't like anyone to see him hurting. Even me. He needs privacy to heal."

Edited Date: 2017-06-22 04:13 am (UTC)

From:

last_kallig

"Can't be all right, I hurt you both too much. I felt it," Ibani says. "Could be in the collar forever and it wouldn't be enough hurt to balance."

"Okay. I'll, I'll stay away. I don't want to hurt him anymore."

From:

iprotectyou

Baze stiffens. "I don't ever want you to think that. Just because we were hurt doesn't mean you should be hurt, too. What good would that do?" he says, holding her tightly. "We will never hurt you. We love you."

He grumbles a little at her next statement, a rumble deep in his chest. "No, he'll want a hug at the very least to know you're okay. I will ask if he wants it before or after he heals."

From:

last_kallig

Ibani shrugs. "Guards used the collars, when we were bad." And sometimes when they weren't, but that's a different subject.

"I love you too." She hugs Baze tightly. "Will you ask him now, or later?"

From:

iprotectyou

Baze clutches her shoulders, drawing her back so she's forced to look at him in the eyes. "We are not the guards," he says, just shy of vehement. "We are your dads. And we will never hurt you."

If he has to repeat that a thousand times, he will. He wants her to understand the depth of their love for her. Hurting her doesn't even come into the equation.

"I'll ask him later--he's knocked out, now. Janeth gave him a powerful sedative."

From:

last_kallig

Ibani meets his eyes and nods. "Okay. I believe you."

"I should probably sleep," Ibani says, sighing. "The Kyber helped, but I'm so tired." Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually....

From:

iprotectyou

Baze wants to ask, "and you'll really sleep this time?" but now is not the time for that. He nods, smoothing her hair out with a meaty hand, and offers her another hug. "Sleep, little one. Your dad will probably want to see you when he's awake."

Later, he'll grill her for details on how, exactly, she did this. The why is known to him now, and, while he's still not pleased about it, he can understand her reasoning. Later, after he checks on Chirrut and puts out any more fires that need his attention. He's too keyed up to sleep himself.

From:

idontneedluck

Chirrut rouses slowly from his drug-enforced nap, and when he does... he feels old. Everything aches, including his heart.

"Baze?" He asks, after spending what feels like a long time trying to decide if Baze is actually there or not. The drugs are making his perception a little wonky.

From:

iprotectyou

"Chirrut! I'm here," Baze says, standing from his chair at the side of the bed and taking his friend's hand. "Ibani is okay. She's sleeping."

From:

idontneedluck

"What happened to her?" He knows he wasn't hallucinating, wasn't dreaming, wasn't fooled by the drugs in his system - though he'd really prefer to think one of those things. "Did I..." He can't really ask the question - the idea that he might have hurt Ibani is abhorrent.

From:

iprotectyou

"No," Baze says immediately, almost biting his tongue in his rush to get the word out. "No, you didn't hurt her. How could you even think that?"

He leans over and presses a kiss to Chirrut's cool temple. "As far as I can tell, she... Sent part of herself to come check on you. She left her body behind. She... Was very upset at the pain she caused. I told her I would ask if you wanted to see her in the flesh."

From:

idontneedluck

He flushes, dully - no. No, he doesn't want her to see this, him left a battered wreck because it's infinitely preferrable to the damage he can wreak if left to his own devices when the wind howls.

But if she was here... she's already seen it. The damage is done.

And he desperately wants to hold his little girl, to know by his own hands that she's still alright.

"... Yes." There is such shame and need in his voice, and he's helpless do to much about either. He doesn't even think to twit Baze about his slip. "Yes, I would like her to come."

Edited Date: 2017-06-22 05:21 am (UTC)

From:

iprotectyou

"All right," Baze says. He knows how much of a concession Chirrut is making, knows that he'd rather be beaten again than to have her see him like this. Baze knows all of that, and yet, he's glad that Chirrut is going to let her come.

Baze loops his arms around Chirrut's shoulders, a gesture made awkward by the drip lines and other scanners plugged into his friend. The larger Guardian sighs against the smaller one, pressing cheek to cheek for a long moment. Baze feels like crying; the tension and stress of the day built up has been released in this moment, and he exhales some of it away. The rest coils in his lower back, where it has gathered for hours.

"Okay," he says, drawing back and stretching. "I'll go get her."

He reluctantly releases Chirrut, and heads down the hall to check if Ibani's awake.

From:

last_kallig

Ibani is just starting to stir when Baze enters the room, but she sits up abruptly when the door opens.

"Hi, Dad," she says quietly. "Did you go and visit Chirrut?"

From:

iprotectyou

"I did," Baze says, crossing to her side and offering a hand to help her up. "And he's ready to see you. Come with me, please."

From:

idontneedluck

Chirrut sits like a lord being swarmed by attendants.

Actually, this is wrong.

He sits like a man who has learned from long experience that medics, while having a great sense of humor on the whole, don't take kindly if you mess up their work and have ways to make you pay for it that won't delay healing. Thus: Very still, and very careful.

It's not that bad, really. And if they can joke about his injuries, it means he won't be here too long. After this many years he knows their names, and small details of their lives - coming here is almost like visiting friends.

Friends with sharp needles and endless spools of sticky tape.

He tilts his head when he hears Baze and Ibani at the doorway, which earns him a quick rap to the side of his head with a pair of bandage scissors and a threat to tape his head to the baseboard if he doesn't keep still.